"What's that boss's name? 'Hyper Great Thing'? AWESOME!!!"

Today's review will switch back to the realm of good games and focus on a game called Darius Twin.

Yes, there were actually GOOD SNES games in 1991.

Darius Twin is a side-view shooter (like the popular Gradius series) developed by a company called Taito, released only for the SNES in 1991. It's a great example of a game that doesn't try to be anything more than it is: a damned fun shooter. Let's see what this game's all about, shall we?

Story: 7/10

From the instruction manual for the US release:

"Once, many millennia ago, the young, tranquil world of Darius was invaded by a race of star-hopping barbarians under the command of galactic tyrant, Belser. The peace-loving Dariusites were ill-prepared for such an invasion and most fell quickly. However, before the entire planet succumbed to Belser's domination, a brave young couple, Proco and Tiat, led a resistance effort and managed to escape with many of their fellow Dariusites to sectors of space that were still free.

As the centuries passed, the descendants of this resistance movement multiplied and prospered, and populated many worlds. On Orga, a world of uncommon resources, they established the command center for the Galactic Federation, a governing body that united all the peaceful worlds of the galaxy. After a thousand years, the forces of Belser again decided to expand their empire and headed spaceward to conquer the people who escaped them centuries earlier. Branching ever outward, Belser seized control of even more planets in the solar system.

Inspired by the legends of Proco and Tiat, two of the Federation's best pilots now ready their spacecraft for the long galactic battle that awaits them. These vessels, advanced technological miracles called Silver Hawks, are able to transform energy into powerful weapons and armament. It is your mission to pilot a Silver Hawk, defeat Belser's forces on each of the planets along your selected route, and reach Darius and destroy the formidable Alloylantern, a mechanical fortress from which all of Belser's technological strength springs. Belser's original world remains unknown, but the most noted scientists believe that it was largely oceanic because all of Belser's technology seems patterned after aquatic lifeforms."

It's not often I get to see an instruction manual for a SNES release, so this is a rare treat. Most SNES games you'll find these days have long since lost their original manual. The boxes also didn't hold up so well since Nintendo released all of their games for SNES and N64 in flimsy cardboard cases.

Anyways, the story in this game, while actually pretty entertaining, will barely present itself while playing. Remember, it's a shooter, not an RPG. There are short segments of story, but the game will be just as enjoyable without seeing them.

Graphics: 8/10

This game looks pretty slick, really. Like Ys 3, it was released in 1991, and as such, it doesn't look as good as a lot of games made towards the end of the SNES's life cycle. However, the graphics serve their purpose well. There's nary a graphical 'hiccup' to be found; everything moves smoothly while clipping along at a fast rate, even on the highest difficulty in the last few levels when there are bullets and enemies covering almost the entire screen.

The bosses, in particular, look really cool (though odd, as most are modeled after aquatic life of some sort).

THIS is the future: robotic squids. The Japanese are already working on it.

Gameplay: 9/10

Darius Twin plays exactly like a good arcade game should. This, my friends, is amazingly awesome since a lot of arcade-to-SNES transitions went very poorly.

You play as pilot of a single ship, a Silver Hawk, sent in to reach planet Darius and destroy the forces of an evil tyrant. In typical shooter fashion, you go completely alone, tasked with completely destroying everything in your path, with no sympathy for just how insane of a task that really is.

Darius Twin plays like a standard shooter, for the most part.You have a rapid-fire laser shot as your main weapon. Instead of a Tyrian-like system where you get to buy upgrades for your ship, this game plays much more like an arcade game. Killing certain types of enemies will drop power ups. You can find power ups for your main gun, increasing its strength by one level. There are shield power ups, giving you a temporary respite from the bullet hell you're usually in (on hard mode, anyways). There are also power ups for an ancillary weapon that slowly goes from one bomb dropping under your ship to incredibly powerful energy discs shooting out from a diagonal on all 4 corners of your ship.

As you blow through a level, the enemies get progressively more intense, and there's usually a mini-boss sort of enemy at some point. It's not clearly labeled and pointed out, but it's an enemy that's stronger than average. Then, at the end, you'll be warned of a huge ship (or sometimes ships!) approaching, and a boss fight ensues. Most of the bosses aren't too tricky; the hardest part of this game is the levels themselves.

After finishing a level, you're taken to this screen:

Highlighted: the path of ultimate winnage.

From here, you can pick the next level you want to play, effectively choosing your own path to get to the end. The levels you can choose between usually aren't too different, but it still adds in an element of control, just like those old choose-your-own-adventure novels.

The most important thing to note, though, is that this game is HARD to do correctly. You have a set number of lives that you can tweak slightly, but there are no continues. This alone already makes the game difficult. However, there are also multiple endings based on your number of deaths. This makes the game 100 times harder for a completionist like me. I've tried so many times to get the best ending (no deaths) but the closest I've ever been able to get is 2 deaths. That involved more tries than I care to talk about. It's also a "one hit, you're dead" type of game, making things even more difficult. To me, though, that just adds to the excitement, and ultimately, makes you feel that much better when you do beat it.

Check this out to see a sample of the opening scenes and the first level.





Lastly, there's a great multiplayer option. Each player has their own separate lives, but you play simultaneously instead of that crappy 'switch back and forth' style you see in so many arcade shooters.

Sound: 8/10

There seems to be a common theme here with a lot of SNES games I've reviewed; the sound effects are largely forgettable and secondary, but the music is just amazingly good. Darius Twin goes along with this theme very well.

The sound effects are all the standard laser and explosion and alarm noises you'd expect from an arcade/SNES shooter.

The music, though, is the shit. The song from the first level is playing clearly in my mind right now and it's been over a year since I've last beaten it. It's very reminiscent of a track from a game like Mega Man X2: very upbeat and fitting for the futuristic setting as well as the gameplay. Seriously, watch the video above and listen to the music...is that not completely fucking awesome?

Replay Value: 10/10

I've gone back to this one many multiple times to replay through it. Even if it is essentially a coin-op arcade game, there's enough twists to make it worth replaying.

One thing keeping you coming back is the planet select screen. There are a lot of different overall paths you can take, making the game slightly different every time. The main draw, though, is the multiple ending system. To see the 'true' ending, you need to play through without losing a single life.

In the end, though, what will make you come back is just how fucking fun this game is. The levels all go quickly, and if you're good, so will the entire game.




Go, find this game, and give it a try. I highly recommend that everyone who even kind of likes arcade shooters play it through at least once. You won't be disappointed. At the very least, play the first level, just to hear how badass the music is. And remember, go for the Queen Fossil first.

Darius Twin @ Amazon.com

"Zinglon's Ale, the ale of champions!"

Today's review is of a game I've only recently played, and boy, do I wish I had played it when I was a kid...today's review is on Tyrian.

Tyrian is a game originally released in 1995, developed by Eclipse Productions and published by Epic MegaGames. It's a vertical shoot-'em-up in the same style as 1943 for arcades/NES, but with WAY more features. It packs an epic amount of fun into a small amount of data. Let's check out this piece of mid-'90s software gold.

Story: 8/10

Tyrian's story is split across several episodes. There's 5 in the full version and 4 in the open-source freeware version (more on that at the end of the review).

The overall plot line focuses on a pilot named Trent Hawkins. His job is to find habitable locations on newly terraformed planets. His work has brought him to a planet named Tyrian. Near Tyrian sits the territory of a lizard-like species called the Hazudra. The story centers around the murder of one of the Hazudra (and Trent's best friend), Buce Quesillac. Buce tells Trent that it was all the work of Microsol, the corporation who contracted the terraformation of Tyrian, due to his knowledge of a mineral capable of controlling the force of gravity found exclusively on Tyrian.

Because of Trent's knowledge of the same material, he's next on Microsol's list of people to kill. As Buce dies, he tells Trent to go to Savara, a free world on the edge of the galaxy. Trent steals a small fighter and begins the journey to Savara. Source, as well as a summary of each episode's story: Tyrian's Plot from Wikipedia

The basic plot line, although straight-forward enough, takes a hundred different turns as the game goes along. As you play, you collect Data Cubes, transmissions from both your allies and your enemies, both of which progress the story as well as filling in plot holes and letting you know about special deals on new weapons or ships to purchase from the main menu.

This game also has its fair share of humor. Certain Data Cubes will have you rolling on the floor with laughter, and others are very tongue-in-cheek references to other old video games. The story won't ever leave you wanting.

Graphics: 7/10

This game looks beautiful for being a PC game in 1995. It was intended to be ran on DOS initially, and before Windows 95 came along, most graphics-heavy games looked just piss-poor. Compared to Doom 2, a game released in 1994 (and an all-time favorite of mine), Tyrian looks like a work of art.

Compare Doom 2...

...to Tyrian. The difference is pretty extreme.

The graphics even hold up to today's standards; it's not exactly HD-quality, but you'll never be confused about what anything is or what it is you're trying to kill. What really sets Tyrian apart from a lot of shooters from the same era (Raptor: Call of the Shadows being one that comes immediately to mind) is the cartoony graphics. These just serve to add to the overall humorous vibe.

Gameplay: 10/10

This game, for a shoot-'em-up dork like me, is bliss. It's not overly hard on any of the difficulties (though people new to the genre might have troubles on Hard), and it's not too easy anywhere, either. It's an even balance of challenge vs. fun. It is a bit easier than the previous game I reviewed, though (U.N. Squadron). It's not bullet hell, by any means.

From the main menu, you can view your Data Cubes (which give you valuable hints about story, as well as some great humor), you can view your Ship Specs (mostly unimportant, although still comical), you can Upgrade Ship (more on this in a second), go to the Options menu (set controls, music and sound volume, etc.), or Exit Game.

Upgrading your ship is one of the best parts of the game. While playing through levels, every enemy you kill will give you a certain amount of money which can be used to purchase upgrades for your ship. Certain enemies will also drop money icons, giving you even more cash. Upgrades include shields (you can take several hits before dying), generators (determines rate of fire as well as how fast shields recharge), front and rear weapons (both of which are linked to the same fire button), left and right sidekicks (smaller weapons that fire along with your main weapons), and even entire new ships. Each new ship gives more armor as well as more shields. Some ships are hilarious, too, like the infamous carrot:

Yes, that really is a carrot shooting bananas. This game is fucking AWESOME.

Other than the massive amount of upgrades available and tons of story elements, the game plays like most other vertical scrolling shoot-'em-ups. You pick your level, you fly through it, destroying everything in your path. There's between 0 and 4 Data Cubes in every level, making themselves apparent upon killing certain enemies. At the end of every level, there's a boss to be killed, most of which aren't terribly difficult. After you kill the boss, you pick the next level...wash, rinse, repeat.

Well...the washing's not necessary...but whatever boats your float.

Sound: 9/10

The only reason this game gets a 9 instead of a 10 is because of the damned alarm sounds when you're near death. On Hard mode, this happened to me often, and it's painful to listen to after a few minutes of it.

Most of the rest of the sound effects are pretty great, though. The music, especially, is amazingly awesome. There's not a single bad song on this soundtrack. They really hit the jackpot when they composed it. It's perfect music for a shooter, and it never gets old. Even the music that plays on main menu is amazing. I'll shut the fuck up and just post a song or three.



Ignore the graphical quality, the music is the main focus here. The game looks MUCH better than this video makes it seem.

Replay Value: 10/10

This game has replay value out the ass (not literally). There's lots of points where the story splits and you can pick your level, altering the remaining levels in the episode. The upgrades that become available also change depending on certain circumstances like how many Data Cubes you collect and what levels you play. There's also several mini-games which are an absolute riot to play through like Destruct, Zinglon's Ale, Zinglon's Squadrons, and Zinglon's Revenge.

You will come back to this game time and time again. There's actually someone sitting next to me playing Tyrian right now...I should get back to playing Final Fantasy XII again, but Tyrian looks so fun, I might just give it another playthrough tonight.

Added Bonus:

Like Death Rally, Tyrian was re-released as a completely free, open-source game. This means it's available for anyone to download in its entirety (almost--it's missing the last episode) for no cost. I HIGHLY advise you check this game out. It's well worth the time you'll put in.

OpenTyrian, a free Tyrian rerelease!

From the downloads menu, under Windows, grab both the first and second links and put all the files in one folder, then just run opentyrian.exe...good times will be had by all.



Go before me, my followers! Download this game! Play it until your fingertips bleed! And most importantly, ALL HAIL ZINGLON!!

"Is it U.N. Squadron? Area 88? And just who the hell is Project 4?"

Here we go with today's review, a game that belongs in anyone's SNES top 20, U.N. Squadron.

I've never known just what the fuck a unicorn has to do with the U.N. ...oh well.

U.N. Squadron is a side-scrolling shooter developed by Capcom, released originally as an arcade game in Japan in 1989 under the title Area 88. It was named and modeled after a manga by the same name. It made its way to the SNES in America in 1992. It's an exceptionally fun shooter with a lot of interesting gameplay elements you don't find in SNES shooters very often. Let's dive in, Efreet-first.

Story: N/A

As near as I can tell, the original game follows a group of 3 pilots (Shin Kazama, Greg Gates, and Mickey Scymon) who work to take down a terrorist group named Project 4. All you really need to know is there's a lot of assholes with planes, boats, and tanks who really want to fuck your day up. It's your job to try your hardest to, in turn, fuck up the day of everyone who dares fire at your plane.

Graphics: 8/10

The graphics are actually surprisingly good for a SNES game. At a lot of points, they fit a metric dickton of enemies on screen, along with dozens of bullets and missiles and explosions, and some of the boss ships look stunningly awesome. There's very rarely on lag on the SNES port (though I can't speak for the arcade port).

Holy shit! It's the Aurora! Sidenote...Shin looks far too much like an emo to be a fighter pilot.

Gameplay: 8/10

First, U.N. Squadron, like almost any shooter, gets really damned hard at points. The goal is to pick a level from the main map and shoot your way through it, killing as many (or as few, if you like a challenge) enemies as you can. You can choose the levels in any order you like as long as it's available on the main map. You can pick between sub levels, quick little supply truck levels, or air attack levels (all of which you use a jet fighter on). The main difference is who the enemy is. You have a life gauge that lowers with each hit you take, contrary to most shooters where if you take one hit, you instantly die. Every enemy you kill gives you a minor amount of money, and finishing a stage will give you a large amount of money.

All of this money can be spent on a number of different weapons for your plane, as well as even buying new and better planes. This feature is unique to the SNES version. In arcades, each of the 3 pilots had their own plane and that was it. Now, regardless of pilot, you start with the weakest plane (F-8E Crusader), and every pilot has the ability to buy planes all the way up to the best one (F-200 Efreet). As you buy better planes, each has its own strengths and weaknesses; some only allow certain weapons, some are only suited for air attack, some are only suited for ground, and some are equally well-balanced.

As far as weapons go, there's really a pretty large range. There's of course the standard machine gun-type shot that you have an infinite supply of. As you kill certain enemies, power ups will drop. Collecting enough will cause your machine gun to move to the next strongest level. Other weapons include a cluster shot (fires shots outward in a circle around you), bombs (must be dropped on the enemies), bullpup (fans missiles forward), gunpod (fires machine gun at 45 degree angle upward), MegaCrush (deals MASSIVE damage to enemies, killing most on screen and heavily damaging bosses), and many more. Most of these have ammo limits, so even if you buy a weapon, if you exhaust its ammo, you won't have it for the next level.

Each of the fighter pilots also has their own advantages and disadvantages. From the game: "Shin increases his firepower the most quickly, Mick can shoot two special weapons at the same time, and Greg recovers from being damaged twice as fast as the others." What this really means is that Mick gets more ammo from ammo pickups, Shin increases to the Vulcan Cannon (strongest cannon) faster than everyone else, and Greg's life bar will fill up faster after being hit.

Don't be fooled...the game doesn't sound difficult, but you have to be VERY good to make it through this game without dying (or even at all depending on the difficulty settings). Here's a short video demonstrating an early level on one of the higher difficulty levels.




Sound: 7/10

The music in this game is really what you would expect from a Capcom game. A lot of it is great music, but in my opinion, it doesn't stand out too much. I think I'm a bit biased, though, since I've played through almost all of the Mega Man games, all of which are also made by Capcom...the music in U.N. Squadron just can't quite compare. It is still very good on its own, though. Listen through just a minute or two of this. It also shows a bit more of the gameplay, but with the sound effects cut out.




The sound effects in this game are much the same; good on their own, but nothing to write home about. Every shot sounds like a generic side-scrolling shooter shot should (alliteration for the win!), and the explosions all fit in just fine.

Replay Value: 5/10

This game is hard to win. Trust me on this. I've beaten U.N. Squadron exactly once out of 4 or 5 genuine efforts to sit down and play through it. It requires a large amount of skill and very quick reaction times. As a result, unless you're a hardcore shooter fan, you won't come back to this game very often. However, one incentive is to try out each of the three pilots at least once, since they really do affect gameplay quite a bit.



U.N. Squadron was a super fun game to play through, and certainly deserving of a playthrough. Whether or not you play it multiple times is up to you, but it warrants a decent shot.

Do yourself a favor, and be wary of the SR-71 Blackbird in level 8.

Little do you know, Greg Gates just shat himself.