Rehashed Golden Oldies

Hello, Faithful Readers. My posting has been very few and far between as of late. School takes precedence over this blog, and the nearer I draw to the end of the semester, the heavier my workload becomes.

Though it could always be worse...

That being said, I haven't abandoned this blog; far from it. This time off from posting has allowed me to get my ideas for posts in order. Actual reviews will be coming before too much longer, but for a while, they'll probably be at least several days apart. As much as I hate these "why I haven't been posting" sort of posts, I feel an explanation was in order because of a few messages I've gotten asking me why I've stopped blogging.

In the meantime, for you newcomers, check out some of my older posts. Who knows? You might've played one of these games before. Some of my favorite ones to write include:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time (SNES)
Death Rally (DOS/PC)
Joe & Mac (SNES)
Earthbound (SNES)

And of course, the reviews of both Katamari Damacy and We Love Katamari. Those, as well as the rest of my reviews, can be found by clicking on the 'review' label on the right hand side of the screen. You can also find reviews by platform and genre by clicking on the appropriate label.

To the people who have been following long enough to have seen all these when I first posted them, my apologies for the rehashing and lack of new, original content. To the rest of you, dig around if you have the time and give-a-shit. You may even find something worth reading.

You know, something worth reading, like the opposite of this.

Until next time, enjoy yourselves, Faithful Readers.

Science!

Just a quick update for all those who may be interested. I haven't posted in quite a while. This is because I've been on a trip to the Argonne National Laboratory near Chicago for a physics/computer science/math/chemistry/geology symposium. We left on Thursday and didn't get back until Sunday at around 3AM. From where I am, it's about an eight or nine hour drive one way.

I was a tired panda by the time we got back.

I wish I could post some pictures, but sadly, I didn't bring a camera along with me. I did get to see some very cool things, though. I watched somewhere around 30 speeches showcasing some of the latest research in several different fields, saw the Advanced Photon Source (a 2/3 mile particle accelerator), and went into Chicago to spend a day and explore.

Seeing this thing was incredibly awesome. SCIENCE!

Presumably, either later tonight or tomorrow, Programmable Abortion will return to its regularly scheduled programming and continue with the reviews. I've had a good one almost done since Thursday that the super Pokemon nerds among us will really enjoy: Pokemon Trading Card Game for Game Boy Color.

You wait and wait, and when it happens, you feel sad.

Pic COMPLETELY unrelated.

My apologies on the epic lack of postings. New reviews will be posted soon. I'm working on a two-part review for Lufia and Lufia II for SNES, one of which is one of the best RPGs of all time and both of which have the best RPG story of all time (opinion, of course). The first one will be posted sometime tomorrow, and the second soon after.

But not quite yet. I've been completely preoccupied with the metric dickton of homework I've been assigned as well as studying for the few midterm exams I've had. On the bright side, all that hard work has paid off. I have a 101% in my C++ course, a 100% in my probability/stats course, ~95% in my literary analysis course, and probably around 85% in my micro-architecture course. I'm a little dissatisfied with my micro grade, but hopefully it'll pop back up into the A range by the time this semester is over.

I'm really happy I came to this university. I've learned a lot of really cool stuff, especially in the world of programming/computer science in general. I've also enjoyed a lot of the 'required' liberal arts-type courses, as most I've taken have focused on literature. It's afforded me the opportunity to learn a few programming languages as well as check out some phenomenal books I'd otherwise never read like Ragtime, The Things They Carried, and The Road.

It's not often I write about my own personal life, but it gives me a chance to find out more about my followers in turn. I'm curious, if any of you are going to college/were in college, what did you major/minor in? What were the most valuable things you learned? How long did you go for? Leave a comment and let me know.

Super Mario Redeux

Today's post will be yet another short one. I apologize for the lack of reviews, but as my university's midterms loom ever nearer, my amount of free time shrinks every day. I'm at work even as I write this. I thought I'd share this, though, in lieu of having a review.

(Plus, it let me leave up Megan's awesome review of Portal for a few days longer than usual!)

This is a game I found awhile back that I still play from time to time. It's called Super Mario Bros. Crossover. Basically, it's Super Mario Bros. in its entirety, only you can play as several other classic Nintendo characters like Link, Samus Aran, Simon Belmont, Mega Man, Bill from Contra, and Ryu Hayabusa from Ninja Gaiden. It's a hell of a fun game, and has support for external controllers, so you can even hook up your old NES controller if you have the right adapters.

Check it out and have fun with it. An actual review should be coming by no later than Wednesday (midterms finish on Wednesday).

Super Mario Bros. Crossover -- Try it out!

Dark Side of the 8-bit Moon

Today's post will also be a short one. I felt like I had to share this with you, Faithful Readers.

Being a huge nerd, I'm a big fan of listening to video game music. However, I'm also an audiophile in general. One of my favorite bands is Pink Floyd. About a year ago, a buddy of mine showed me something that combined my love of video game music and my love of Floyd perfectly.



That was the first part of an effort by one guy to arrange Dark Side of the Moon in its entirety for NES. It was created using Famitracker, sound rendered with NSFplug. It's INCREDIBLY well done. Some of it's comical; I guarantee you'll hear at least one sound effect you recognize from an old NES game. The coin noise in Money, for example, is one that everyone should know.

Check it out; give at least one track a listen. Great Gig in the Sky is one of my favorites. If you have time, the whole album is worth listening to.














Anyways, to make it clear, I had no part in the making of this. Just passing it along.

The whole set is available for download for free from the creator's website, too. http://rainwarrior.thenoos.net/music/moon8.html

The Mega Man Live-Action Film!

Today's post will be short one. In keeping with the Mega Man theme, I thought I'd share this. It's a full-length live-action fan made Mega Man film. It was done for no profit, all costs out of pocket, and it was surprisingly well done. I started watching it thinking that I'd quit watching within 10 minutes or so, but I got sucked in and watched the whole damned thing. It's pretty good. The CGI is a little shaky, but even that was good, considering the budget.

The absolute best part is the actor for Dr. Wily. That guy was PERFECT for the role. Seriously, go check it out. You think it's hokey, but who knows? You may watch the whole movie and really enjoy it, just like I did.

Be sure to full-screen it! This window is tiny on purpose.


"MegaMan"-Fan Film from Eddie Lebron on Vimeo.

Watch it! Fullscreen it!

Just to make it clear, I had no part in the making of this film. I'm just one guy who loves Mega Man waaaay too much. Enjoy :-)

Update - Where do we go from here?

Hello, Faithful Readers.

Today has been a day of fantasy. Rather than doing anything of any import, I took two exams and then spent the day playing Final Fantasy XII in the hopes that I can complete it before the long, harsh winter. In lieu of posting a review, I thought I'd make a post detailing what is and what will be when it comes to Programmable Abortion.

For those of you who haven't been reading since the start (only two weeks ago, but it seems so much longer), so far, I've done reviews of:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time (SNES)
Death Rally (PC)
Joe & Mac (SNES)
Earthbound (SNES)
Katamari Damacy (PS2)
We Love Katamari (PS2)
U.N. Squadron (SNES)
Tyrian (PC)
Ys III: Wanderers From Ys (SNES)
Darius Twin (SNES)

10 reviews in, and so far the reviews have been very heavily weighted towards the Super Nintendo. They'll continue to be that way for a little while. This is mostly because A) most games I've beaten have been for SNES,  B) I feel the SNES had one of the best game catalogs in video game history, and C) 95% of Super Nintendo games are cheap and easily accessible to anyone who's interested in trying them out.

Now, in the future, not every review will be of video games, although 90% of them will. There are plenty of books, movies, and albums I've been interested in doing reviews of, and there's always a million more items on my list of media to absorb. Even just right now, I'm reading through a great novel called The Road by Cormac McCarthy, playing through Final Fantasy XII, reading a collection of Isaac Asimov's short stories, and playing through Final Fantasy VI (sparingly). My list of things to get around to includes rereading the Dark Tower series by Stephen King (as well as several other novels of his I've missed), playing through Dragon Quest 1 and 2 for NES, watching the entirety of Carl Sagan's Cosmos and Stephen Hawking's Universe, and watching several dozens of interesting-looking movies I've missed out on over the years.

In the distant future, reviews of most of these will be posted. However, it's going to be a while before I finish those things as somewhere in there, time needs to be made for college and work. In the meantime, expect to see reviews posted within the next month or so for:

Leisure Suit Larry 5 (I already have a review almost finished for this one; holy shit, this game was great)
Mega Man X-X3 for SNES
The Incredible Machine for PC
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Lufia and Lufia II for SNES
Pokemon Snap for N64
Pokemon Trading Card Game for GameBoy Color
A few more games that I think were incredibly shitty, just to balance out the good ones

...and presumably many more.

My continued thanks go out to you, Faithful Readers. I have a blast writing these reviews, truly, but if no one were here to read them...well, there's no reason to speak. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them.

To close, I'll leave you with my favorite image from Star Trek: The Next Generation (Season 6, Episode 25 - Timescape).

Troi has never looked so fine.

Two days in a row, and not a review to be had!

Today went much like yesterday: wake up at 6AM and move constantly between obligations until 10PM, only to wake up tomorrow and do a lot of the same thing. In light of this overload of responsibility, there won't be a review today.

But fear not, Faithful Readers! In the time I've had, I've thrown together about 65% of a review; this will be posted in its complete form tomorrow. I've chosen this particular game, Ys III: Wanderers From Ys, for two reasons.

1.) A reader, Tal Zahn (forgive me if that's spelled incorrectly), asked through a comment if I was into RPGs, more or less, and mentioned he had some suggestions. I am indeed into RPGs, and I have several on my list I plan on getting to, Ys being one of them. Also, I'm still open to suggestions, as long as the game is accessible without too much trouble and I have time (keep in mind, I have a HUGE collection of older games; if it was released for NES, SNES, GameBoy/GBC/GBA, or Sega Genesis in America, I almost guarantee I have it).

2.) I noticed that I've only posted reviews of games I've enjoyed a lot. I think it's only fair to post a review of a game I thought was completely mediocre. Ys III fits the bill for being both an (action) RPG and a mediocre one at that.

So, there you have it. Tomorrow, look forward to a review of a game I consider to be totally, completely, and utterly average. To close, here's a picture of Nic Cage as Pee Wee Herman, courtesy of one of the most hilarious blogs I've ever seen on Blogspot, Nic Cage as Everyone.

I would watch this movie...just sayin'.

Where the hell's my review?

Today, sadly enough, there won't be a review. College, work, and a desperate need for sleep have compounded to shit in the face of any possibility for a decent review. However, this gives me an opportunity to get some feedback from you, O Faithful Reader.

The nature of this blog requires me to write reviews only for games I've beaten, a list of which can be found in my second post (waaaaay down at the bottom of the current page). Other games are valid, though only if I've played them. However, how I write the reviews is entirely arbitrary, based solely on my own preferences. I like to be as thorough and informative is possible. Too often, I see reviews that go something like: "It was a good game. I liked it. I thought that it was fun. It was fun and good. I think that I liked it because it was good. And fun." It makes much more sense to me and seems like a much better process to write thorough and detailed reviews instead.

But it begs to be asked: how have my reviews been? Have they been too long? Not long enough? Too much detail? Should there be more awesome related pictures and videos rather than text? Or should there be less gimmicky visual stuffs and more pure text?

Before answering those, though, does anyone even read the reviews? Or am I essentially verbally masturbating more and more with each passing day?

Please leave some feedback in the comment section of this post. Any suggestions are more than welcome.

To close, here's a picture of Paris Hilton screwing in a pool.

I am so, so sorry...

A Momentary Lapse of Reason

Recently, while reading a pretty interesting blog ( http://gamesolderthanme.blogspot.com/ ), I realized I've been seriously neglecting a portion of gaming history that deserves to be recognized: games that can't be 'beaten'. I've been compiling a list of all the games I've beaten and totally left out all of the classics that I've played and had a great time with, like:

MegaMania...

AWESOME!

Kaboom!...

AWESOME!!

Taz...

AWESOME!!!

Journey Escape...

AWESO---wait, no...this game was terrible. Seriously, consider a lobotomy before playing this game.

...and dozens of others.

In the future, expect to see reviews of some of these games (and even some unbeatables for systems other than the Atari 2600!).

Also of note, the list of games beaten will sit stagnant for awhile as I play through another game, Final Fantasy XII. While I've beaten FF12 before, I can't in all good conscience add it to the list simply because I initially beat it before the list was created. It's the same reason hundreds of other games aren't on the list. Eventually, I'll rebeat all of those that I beat before the list began. In the meantime, there's no shortage of games to review.

Special thanks go to my buddy B for introducing me to the 2600 over the summer and encouraging me to play it. Never have I been beaten so badly in a game as I have been when playing against him in Kaboom! and MegaMania.

The List

 Hooray! It's my birthday! That seems like the best time to me to start talking about video games.

What follows is the list of games I've beaten since mid-December. It's unaltered from how I've had it saved over the past ~9 months.


88 Total

PS2 - 9
Ratchet and Clank (All Gold Bolts + Gold Weapons)
Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando (All Platinum Bolts + Skill Points)
Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal (All Titanium Bolts + Skill Points + Trophies)
Ratchet: Deadlocked (Exterminator Difficulty - All Missions + All Exterminator Cards + All Skill Points)
Gauntlet: Dark Legacy (Dwarf, Level 99 + All Characters Unlocked + Garm Beaten)
Lego Star Wars (All Levels 'True Jedi' Status + All Mini-Kits)
Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy (100%)
Katamari Damacy
We Love Katamari (All Cousins and Presents)

SNES - 54
Super Mario World (96*)
U.N. Squadron
Joe and Mac
Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels (All Worlds)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 4: Turtles in Time
The King of Dragons
Earthbound
Darius Twin (Multiple Death Ending)
Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Battletoads & Double Dragon - The Ultimate Team
Kirby Super Star (100%)
Kirby's Dreamland 3 (100%)
Donkey Kong Country (101%)
Donkey Kong Country 2 (102%)
Donkey Kong Country 3 (103%)
Spider-man & Venom - Maximum Carnage (Venom Only)
Final Fight
Final Fight 2
Final Fight 3
Ultraman - Towards the Future
Mega Man 7
Mega Man X
Mega Man X2
Mega Man X3
Tom & Jerry
Claymates
Disney's Aladdin
Sunset Riders
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie
Batman Returns
Knights of the Round
Legend of the Mystical Ninja
X-Men - Mutant Apocalypse
Tiny Toon Adventure: Buster Busts Loose
Super Ghouls 'n' Ghosts
Gradius 3
Pocky & Rocky
Super Smash TV
Super R-Type
R-Type III: The Third Lightning
Super Double Dragon
Super Star Wars
Super Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back
Super Turrican
The Adventures of Batman and Robin
Super Metroid (1:42 Clear Time, 48% Items)
Ys III: Wanderers from Ys
Final Fantasy Mystic Quest
Secret of the Stars
Breath of Fire
Lufia & the Fortress of Doom
Lufia II - Rise of the Sinistrals
Arkanoid: Doh It Again

Sega Genesis - 1
Beavis and Butthead (Best Ending)

NES - 10
Kirby's Adventure (100%)
Super Mario Bros.
Super Mario Bros. 2
Super Mario Bros. 3
Mega Man
Mega Man 2
Mega Man 3
Mega Man 4
Mega Man 5
Mega Man 6

Game Boy - 2
Super Mario Land
Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins (All 32 Levels)

Game Boy Color - 1
Pokemon Trading Card Game (217/226 Cards)

GBA - 2
Mega Man & Bass
Final Fantasy IV Advance

DS - 4
New Super Mario Bros. (All *Coins and Alternative Exits)
Super Mario 64 DS (All 150 Stars)
Mario Kart DS
Chrono Trigger (1 out of 13 Endings)

PC/DOS - 5
Leisure Suit Larry 5 - Passionate Patti Goes Undercover (993/1000 points)
Raptor: Call of the Shadows (Bravo & Tango campaigns)
Death Rally (89 races to Adversary)
The Incredible Machine (All 87 puzzles, 362000 points)
Tyrian


The next several posts will be reviews of these games, one by one. I'm going to try to get one a day done, but I'm sure that schedule will be more dynamic as time goes on.

Sidenote...how would a compilation be listed? That question has stymied me for months now. Say it's the Mega Man X Collection for PS2...would it go under PS2 when I've finished the entire collection, or would each individual game go under it's original system with a note that it was played on a compilation, or would some other strategy work better? I know, I'm an anal-retentive dork, but this seems important. The question has become something larger than itself by this point.

One Small Step

Welcome to Programmable Abortion.

When I was in middle school, I rode the bus to and from school. Every day, I'd get off the bus after school and grab the mail for both my family and my grandma, since she lived right next door to us. Usually, I'd end up hanging out at her house for an hour or so before heading home to play whatever video game I happened to be playing at the time.

My grandma kept a series of notebooks. In these notebooks, she'd number and date every movie that she watched. Quite a few of them I remember watching with her, but nowhere near all of them. My grandma was a movie fiend; I remember she'd spend most of her time in front of her TV, leaning back in her recliner, watching whatever new VHS she had gotten that day. At the end of the year, she'd grab a new notebook and start over again. I only ever caught the total for a year once, but I remember it being well over 1000. My grandma was a cool lady.

Back in December of 2009, I realized I had been playing more and more video games, to the point where it was almost all I'd do with my spare time. If I wasn't playing video games, I'd be watching movies or TV. It finally peaked over winter break when I was staying with a friend of mine. Every day, it seemed, I was playing something new on his NES or SNES. I decided I'd start keeping a list of all of the games I had beaten, just as my grandma had kept a list of all the movies she had watched. That list has grown considerably since then.

This brings me to the point of this blog. Over the next (10? 100? 1000?) posts, I'll be posting both the current list of games beaten as well as reviews of each game on the list. Sprinkled in with all of the mindless video game nonsense, there'll be periodic posts of reviews of some of my favorite books, movies, music, and really whatever the fuck else I see fit to clog the interwebs with a review of.

Hang in there. It's going to be a long ride.